How much do you REALLY love yourself?

We all know “self care” is a big movement at the moment, but after years of conditioning where we put our families, jobs and responsibilities ahead of our own needs…how much do we really love ourselves? How much do YOU really love YOURSELF? 

And WHY is it so hard to take care of ourselves?

What you would do if you really loved yourself…

You would go to the gym every day, eat clean, rarely drink alcohol or take drugs. You’d have boundaries so you could tell soul sucking friends and work colleguages to fuck off when they had overstepped their mark. You would make time for the things you love, instead of finding a list of chores to do instead. 

Why DON’T we do these things? 

Because it’s easier (and feels better in the short term) to order takeaway and binge watch Netflix.. Because we’ve been brought up to be polite to others, and people pleasing is easier than confrontation. Because we’ve been told being selfish is a bad thing. 

The “self care” movement isn’t going to change these things. 

Instead, you’re going to plan in self care the way you plan in a haircut, and tell yourself that it’s enough. That you’ve loved yourself enough this week, month, year.

How to REALLY love yourself…

You’ve got to take a really hard look in the mirror and do some soul searching about the stories you tell yourself. I know I’ve had to. 

When I really boiled down the story of why I’m a workaholic, it wasn’t because I wanted to make a load of money. It wasn’t because as a child I lacked security. 

It all boiled down to this one thought…I am not enough. 

Your thought could be any number of things:

I am unlovable. 

I am unworthy. 

I am…fill in the blank. 

You’re not any of those things, of course. But tell yourself it enough – consciously or subconsciously – and you’ll start to believe it. In fact, you already have. 

It’s why you don’t put yourself first. 

It’s why you make excuses about why you don’t put yourself first. The kids are more important. You need to pay the bills. The house needs cleaning. Your boss wouldn’t understand. 

You see reason & logic to these statements, because it’s easier to justify than to REALLY take a look at what’s going on. 

THAT’S how you learn to really love yourself. It’s fucking hard work. But, trust me, it’s worth it.

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